Home Inspection is No Ordinary Job

I was talking to my best friend the other day about how hard my wife’s job is: She’s a social worker trying to keep people fed and housed. He responded, “Your job is hard, too.” He’s heard stories about me inspecting multi-unit buildings where folks are living in squalor—overflowing sinks, broken windows, ancient HVAC units, rear exits blocked, and so on. Sometimes we encounter unwell folks on the job, too. I’m sure you all have lots of stories. 

Going through a person’s home is intimate. You can’t help but get an emotional reaction at times. But you can get good vibes, too, like when I saw a complete log cabin inside a home, or when I see good artwork or family photos. And it’s fun sometimes to be startled by good taxidermy in a closet or attic. 

There are downsides: Sometimes I come across intimate things I really should not be seeing. And filth can be just plain scary and depressing. It takes it out of you. Inspections often begin after a long drive, and we have to deal with foul weather: rain, heat, and cold. We are subject to the vagaries of markets and interest rates and the waiving of inspections.

One recent day was particularly draining. A young lady was considering buying a mobile home. Within five minutes I thought she should run away. The unit was 35 years old—one of those pill-shaped aluminum things, covered in black algae, rotted wood ramp, rear stairs, rotted shed. All the neighboring homes had been updated. 

The stats say manufactured homes last 30 to 50 years if well maintained. This one was not. It had a leaking polybutylene pipe; all exterior insulation had fallen. The sellers also had not disclosed a broken drain. And they took all the light bulbs with them. 

For many of us, the desire for our own home runs deep. I shared with this young woman the story of the first house I bought. I likened it to my first girlfriend. I was just so excited to have a girlfriend, but she was quite awful.

Likewise with my first house, it was a disaster. We sold it within months after I did nothing but strenuous work on it. I did so much pruning and brush clearing I ended up out front with a mound 6 feet high and 30 feet long spread along the curb. It was so huge that the special pickup vehicle broke its gripping device and sprayed hydraulic fluid all over our yard. Inside, I was in charge of the stand-up belt sander while my wife used the rotating edge sander to refinish hardwood floors. After a while I looked around and couldn’t find my wife. This was before cell phones. When I went outside, I found her asleep in the car. Hard work indeed. 

In home inspection you’re putting yourself out there into someone’s life, and that takes compassion and courage. Not everyone can do that. Plus, there are so many details you can’t ever really always make sense of it all. And sometimes we screw up. So, it is hard work. And yet, why would we want an easy job? 

Paul Cummins is an ASHI Certified Inspector, retired science teacher, and lives in Fredericksburg, Virginia.